He Said…Never Hit a Woman She Said…VERY Rarely

He Said…

“If you ever put your hands on a woman, I will kill you.” These were the harsh but necessary words that my mother relayed to me as a child after she learned that I had been in a fight with a girl who lived down the street.  These were the words that echoed around the vault that is my mind whenever I had a conflict with a female from then until today. I was instilled with the belief that all people should be protected from physical violence, and that goes double for women. So as I viewed the clip of the conflict between the bus driver and the female passenger, I figured that there would be some sort of newsworthy confrontation between them but nothing prepared me for what unfolded.

I watched as they argued. I watched as she caused a scene that seemed to have been triggered from thin air. I watched as she slapped him. I watched as he stopped the bus, unbuckled his seat belt, and got up from his cushioned bus driver’s seat. Uh-oh. Surely he’s not going to hit her, I thought. Surely, he’s just going to gently remove her from the bus and go about his route and day, hopefully never to see her again. I was mistaken…sadly mistaken. This man, who could have been the passenger’s father, uppercuts this poor girl and proceeds to drag her off the bus by her hair, then tosses her things out after her. All while yelling, “You wanna be man? I’m going to treat you like one!” It was devastating. It has recently been released that the bus driver was fired from the public transit agency that hired him after being placed on unpaid probation in early October. However, I am not certain that justice has been served on her behalf. Someone twice his size should deck him in the jaw if you ask me, just so he’ll know what it’s like to be beaten by someone he has no chance of standing up against.

My mother’s words crept up in my mind once more. How could he have felt that was appropriate? He was at work, and I’m sure he was given some form of training to deal with disgruntled patrons. Further, what would his mother think? What would his grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt and wife all think of his behavior? I took personal offense on her behalf, and I am certain that the women in his life probably did too.

There were a million different ways that he could have handled that situation without resorting to physical retaliation. I abhor violence in all forms, but there is something particularly heinous about a man striking a woman. No matter how she acts or what she says, a woman should never be subjected to physical pain from a man. I stand firmly by this even in cases where a woman outsizes a man. Domestic violence is never okay.



She Said…

Domestic violence is a serious issue all over the world. There are still several countries where women have no civil rights, can’t speak unless given permission, can’t even show their faces in public.

America, however, is not one of those places. Despite the pay gap, women are still making great strides in the community, from doctors and lawyers to Speaker of the House to governors and all the way up to Vice Presidential candidate (Palin wasn’t necessarily the best choice, but hey: you’ve got to take what you can get sometimes). With much power, however, comes much stress and not everyone can deal.

Men, has your girl ever gotten upset with you? Yelled or screamed at you? Put her hands on you? The majority of people frown upon hitting women, but that doesn’t stop the thought from crossing your mind. And rightly so: many women intentionally push buttons because they know they won’t get hit back.

But are there instances where it’s ever okay to lay hands on a woman? I say yes, but in very limited and specific circumstances. A girl cussing & fussing, no matter how hurtful her words may be, is never an excuse to lay your hands on a woman. If she runs at you swinging, move out the way. You can even push her out of the way and leave.

Now, I just listed a variety of reasons why you shouldn’t put your hands on a woman. But what happens when she causes actual physical bodily harm? What if she throws a pot at your head or pulls a knife on you? At some point, pushing her away is no longer enough.

I know you saw that girl get uppercut by the bus driver. This, ladies and gentlemen, Is a perfect example of women taking things too far. Causing a scene and physically lashing out, all because she didn’t pay her bus fare. First and foremost, why are you mad? Public transportation isn’t free and if you’re going to use it, you’re going to pay. Second, why would you attack the bus driver while he’s driving the bus?!? He could injure and even kill himself, you, and everyone else on the vehicle and the people on the street. And then she spit on him. Getting spat on is just as bad as getting open hand slapped: it’s embarrassing, disrespectful, and infuriates people like no other. There is NEVER a reason to spit on ANYONE EVER. Dangerous & unruly behavior like that has consequences.

Now, the uppercut was a little much. He wound up like a professional and there was no way she was prepared to deal with the amount of force laid on her chin. But she got what she had coming to her. And he made a pretty solid argument: “You want to be a man? I’m going to treat you like one.”

Moral of the story? Control your temper, don’t put your hands on women, but if you act like a man, you will get treated like one.

Aidan Clark and Devyne Lloyd


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